My daughter is 2.5 years old and showing signs of weaning. At times when she would normally nurse, she is now telling me that my “na nas are broken” and is starting to nurse less and less.

She is completely ready. I, however, am not.

She is my youngest, my baby. When my oldest daughter weaned at 22 months old, it didn’t bother me as much; probably because I was pregnant and knew that another baby was coming to take her place at the breast.

This time, there is no baby. There was going to be a baby boy born in about two weeks to take her place at the breast, but we sadly lost him in the second trimester.  July 4th was my due date, and as that day looms closer and my youngest nurses less and less, I realize that for the first time in over five years I will have both an empty womb and empty breasts.

I don’t want to let go, I simply don’t. I want her to continue to be my baby, it is too hard for me. Then, last night, after my youngest told me that she didn’t want to nurse to sleep and I lay there with tears in my eyes, she suddenly turned towards me, threw her arms around my neck and said “I need you, Mommy” and asked me to stay with her until she fell asleep.

That’s when I realized that she still is my baby. So is my oldest. Weaning is not an end to them having needs that only their Mommy can fulfill; it’s just a step into the next stage of parenting, where I can meet her needs with lots of cuddles and hugs and attentiveness rather than comfort from the breast.

I need you, Mommy.

Maybe, just maybe, this won’t be as hard as I thought.

Shelly is a WAHM to two girls. You can find her daily at Adventures of a Breastfeeding Mother

We recently added a new event to our schedule: Stay at Home Mondays. The start of the week was being hard for us. Most often, we’d end up staying home anyway, but only after I felt like I’d failed to get us to the standing park playgroup Monday mornings with all our AP buddies, only after I’d imagined the grocery store trip we needed to make, and reviewed and been unable to accomplish anything on the errand and to-do list that had lengthened over the weekend.

I was feeling like maybe everyone else had figured out something I hadn’t; they had their weeks and time scheduled so they could get out of their homes more easily, keep a clean house and stocked fridge, manage their time and their things better than I could. That me vs. them thinking that inevitably leaves me coming up short while the rest of the world got some rule book I can’t seem to find. I posted on my blog asking for time management tips. I imagined setting up a routine for myself so that I would have a set menu-planning day, grocery day, cleaning day, etc. Then I started feeling hemmed in. I hate following schedules. I hadn’t even assigned days yet and already I wanted to tear up the calendar.

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The special Attached at the Heart edition of The Attached Family Magazine (PDF) magazine is now available.

This edition features a preview of API’s 15th Anniversary Celebration, an interview with API co-founders and book authors Barbara Nicholson and Lysa Parker, information on a free drawing, details on the $15 API Membership Special, and so much more.

Principle Number One: Prepare for Pregnancy, Birth and Parenting

“Look at this,” I mumble out of the corner of my mouth as I shove the white and purple plastic stick in Sir Hubby’s direction. The two younger kids are nearby and it is too soon to clue them in yet.

“Uh. What exactly am I looking at?” he replies, his tone already rising an octave. He senses danger.

“C’mon. Really?” I hiss. I know he has seen a pregnancy test before.

“No, no. I know what it is. I just don’t know what it says,” he confesses.

“It says oops.”

And so begins our journey towards meeting Loin Fruit Number Five, or LF#5 as we like to call the little critter.

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Of the many things that changed in my life after my children were born, one of the biggest was my attitude towards food.

Once my son started eating solids, I was careful to avoid artificial sweeteners, food dyes, certain types of fat, etc. One day, while peering into my refrigerator and seeing “his” organic ketchup on the shelf next to the non-organic ketchup I bought for my husband and myself, it struck me how silly it was to buy more than one kind of ketchup. I wondered why I was so careful with what I fed him, but not nearly as careful with myself. If organic ketchup was good enough for him, why wasn’t it good enough for me?

It was like a little cartoon light bulb appeared over my head. That realization, combined with a gift subscription from a friend to Prevention Magazine, and a desire to no longer feel fat and frumpy, changed my life and my outlook when it came to food.

Nutrition became a personal interest, and in addition to starting to exercise, I overhauled the way we eat. [Read more →]

My son, my oldest child, is 7 1/2 years old and a rising second grader.  For his entire life, he has always been the child who would never stray far from me, loves cuddles and physical contact.  And he has stopped holding my hand in public.

Since his toddler years, our rule has been that hands must be held while walking in parking lots, crossing streets, or at any other time there might be a danger.  There’s no doubt it provides a convenient way to keep track of my kids, but more than that, I simply enjoy holding my children’s hands.  I often reach for them just walking through stores, or in the zoo, or wherever we happen to be.  It gives a physical presence, which in turn creates a positive emotional atmosphere.  I’ve never spanked my kids, so there’s never been any instance of negative touch between our kids and their parents, but the hand-holding is a positive touch I particularly enjoy.  Not that I don’t enjoy the hugs and kisses and cuddles and bedtime snuggles, but hand-holding provides an intimate atmosphere in a place where other forms of physical parent-child intimacy is not feasible. [Read more →]

This is the fourth and last post in a series on preparing for a second baby. If you haven’t read them already, check out the first part What on Earth Were We Thinking? and the second part To tandem or not to tandem, and third part Move over: making room for one more in the bed.

It wasn’t long until my anxiety about bringing a second child into our home gave way to the reality and excitement of introducing our little girl to the family. Our son was generally excited about having her around, but like any child he had his moments…moments where, for example, he said “Baby sister go back in mommy’s tummy now.” But those moments were few and far between and what I remember more than anything else was my son being a devoted big brother, one that was loving and helpful with his little sister. I remember him wanting to hold her and glowing when he did. I remember him getting her to giggle and laugh.

I think part of the reason things turned out so well is our capacity as humans to love. Our capacity as parents to expand our hearts and find so much more love. My son’s capacity to open his heart to this new little intruder in his life. But the other reason things turned out so well was that we prepared and we adapted.

So what can you do to prepare your older child? How can you make things easier for the big brother or sister?

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This is the third post in a series on preparing for a second baby. If you haven’t read it already, check out the first part What on Earth Were We Thinking? and the second part To tandem or not to tandem.

…there were four in a bed and the little one said

“roll over, roll over”

so they all rolled over and one fell out

There were three in a bed and the little one said…

Sprawling limbs. Acrobatic nursing. Coughs. Teeth grinding. Wiggling. Wet diapers. Teething. All things that can make sleeping with multiple children challenging. But the cuddles, ah….the cuddles. They make it all worthwhile. And having your kids feel secure at night is a wonderful feeling. [Read more →]

This is the second post in a series on preparing for a second baby. If you haven’t read it already, check out the first part What on Earth Were We Thinking?

In attachment parenting circles nursing into toddlerhood is common. A lot of parents strive for child-led weaning or at the very least gradual and gentle weaning. What that means is that a lot of moms are still nursing their first child when they get pregnant with the second (especially if they believed the myth that you can’t get pregnant while nursing, which is only true under certain circumstances for a limited time period). [Read more →]